Today was challenging for me.
Every single one of my doubts, fears, & insecurites came to a head.
I've never felt myself get so close to the bottom.
If I could take as much advice as I give, I'd have all my shit together.
Unfortunately, I can't do that.
I start what I can't finish...
...I don't finish what I start.
I'm too kind-hearted, overlooked, and worthless.
I'm self-conscious, angry, and burdened
I'm tired, weak, and uninspired.
I've been waiting on my moment.
It must have gotten lost in the mail.
I'm waiting on the post man to bring me my dreams.
It's not like I want the world...
I just want a piece of it.
To be loved...
To be wanted..
To be inspired...
To be known...
To be more than just "him."
To be UNDERSTOOD
to. be. happy.
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Sunday, June 20, 2010
I am.
So here I am. My first blog. I mainly created this as a means to vent and put my feelings and thoughts out there, so this may sometimes get random. Forgive me.
I am embarking on a new journey. A journey for me. A journey that, in the end, will be very rewarding. After giving myself and constructing nurturing and loving relationships, it's now time to build a new relationship....one with myself. He's timid...he's temperamental...he's misunderstood sometimes. I want to understand him. I want to know what makes him tick. What is he doing with his life? Is he going to be okay? Is he able to pull himself out of the darkness that sometimes plagues him? Usually after a few glasses of wine, I think I know everything about him, lol. All these questions of course are pertaining to me, myself, and I. If I had just one chance to go back and not mess up...wait...that's life. I'm supposed to make mistakes that lead me to my ultimate path through life, right? So you mean to tell me nothing is easy? Shit. So how many more mistakes do I have to make before I get there? Am I there? Am I focused? Will I be successful? I must say that I don't have any regrets, I don't have any apologies. I've only made the mistakes I've made because I wanted to, regardless if they could have been easily avoided. Although right now it feels like my life is in shambles, I'm ready to pull myself out of this, and eventually get to a great place. I don't even care how long it takes, I just want that for myself.
I am embarking on a new journey. A journey for me. A journey that, in the end, will be very rewarding. After giving myself and constructing nurturing and loving relationships, it's now time to build a new relationship....one with myself. He's timid...he's temperamental...he's misunderstood sometimes. I want to understand him. I want to know what makes him tick. What is he doing with his life? Is he going to be okay? Is he able to pull himself out of the darkness that sometimes plagues him? Usually after a few glasses of wine, I think I know everything about him, lol. All these questions of course are pertaining to me, myself, and I. If I had just one chance to go back and not mess up...wait...that's life. I'm supposed to make mistakes that lead me to my ultimate path through life, right? So you mean to tell me nothing is easy? Shit. So how many more mistakes do I have to make before I get there? Am I there? Am I focused? Will I be successful? I must say that I don't have any regrets, I don't have any apologies. I've only made the mistakes I've made because I wanted to, regardless if they could have been easily avoided. Although right now it feels like my life is in shambles, I'm ready to pull myself out of this, and eventually get to a great place. I don't even care how long it takes, I just want that for myself.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)